i feel like i'm the worst person in the world. i feel like i've been hurt a thousand times by the same person. i feel like i've been stabbed right in my heart. i feel like he's a jealous boyfriend. but the truth is, he's a celebrity. a celebrity who doesn't give a fuck about me. i'm just a fan. a stupid little fan, who's always been there for him. and as soon as i turn on him, he gets pissed off? does he have a right to be pissed off with me? he's been making me feel like absolute shit most of the time for 11 months. and now when i finally realise that there are other people who treat me better, he's being moody with me? making me feel like i've done something wrong. truth is, i feel like such a bitch. but why should i care? he hasn't cared for 11 months, why should i? at first he made me so angry, i still am. but soon enough that anger turned to tears and sadness.

i don't want to lose him, even though i never had him in the first place.


I can't sleep tonight
Everybody saying everything's alright
Still I can't close my eyes
Why does it always rain on me?